I was playing the game “Two Truths and a Lie” with my kids the other day and was having fun coming up with the most egregious lies I could think of (“Did you know Daddy invented Spider-Man? True story.”) and something started the gears turning in relation to this column.
There’s a lot about wrestling that I deeply love. The athletics, the ability to tell a story, the pomp and (dare I say) the circumstance, which are all unique in the entertainment landscape. Like any good fan though, there is a bunch of stuff I absolutely can’t stand as well — playing music during run-ins, inconsistent rule enforcements and the obsession with wrestling as a “business,” to name a few.
I am also pretty tired of reading and writing about complaints within and around the industry. So, on an occasion like this where there’s no one topic bouncing around in my brain for my fingers to convey to you, I thought why not do some quick hits in the form of Two Loves And A Loathing, so that I’m bringing a little bit of positivity while also pointing out something I feel needs improving. So with all that said:
LOVE: AEW Double or F*cking Nothing
A lot has been said about AEW’s Double or Nothing show this past weekend with WOR’s Dave Metlzer and Bryan Alvarez agreeing that it was one of the best AEW PPVs of all time. I heartily agree and think AEW is entering a really good period at the moment. They are telling great stories and featuring some incredible talents.
One thing that stuck out to me during the show was the use of profanity, particularly during the opening tag match that saw Christian Cage telling FTR to “go f*ck themselves” and that he “banged [Dax]’s mom.”
Now, I’m not going to argue that wrestling needs more salty language and mom jokes (well, it does need more mom jokes) but my head snapped up both times I heard Cage tempt the censors. I don’t know if this is a regular thing or it was because it was on PPV that they felt like they could get away with more, or if it was just how it went in the moment, but it weirdly added to the authenticity of the match.
If I’m getting my hand smashed with a chair while inside a cinderblock on top of some steel stairs, I’m probably not going to say, “No, sir. I decline your invitation to quit” when they stick a mic in my face. I’m going to use swear words and insults that would make Shakespeare blush. It was a little thing amongst a lot that was good about Double or Nothing, but I really liked it.
Loathe: The Promo Parade
Something that bugged me to no end in WWE from five or six years ago was The Promo Parade. This would occur, usually to open the show, when someone would come down to the ring and cut a promo. A few minutes in, someone would interrupt and cut a promo on them. Then someone ELSE would interrupt and cut a promo on THEM. This would get sometimes four or five wrestlers deep and suddenly the first half hour of WWE would be over with nothing accomplished.
I had hoped I was done with this phenomenon but sadly, when I took over recapping TNA recently (Thursday nights and it’s actually a lot of fun) I discovered that the Promo Parade was alive and well in the place where the Action is Total and Nonstop.
One of the things that takes me out of suspending my wrestling disbelief is when the show as a show stops making sense. This includes making main event matches on the fly (what were they going to do if Rey Mysterio wasn’t in that night or didn’t want an Intercontinental Title shot?), contract signings and ending shows on talking segments repeatedly.
The Promo Parade ticks all these boxes at the same time. It makes it look like the show (which is supposed to be a sporting event, I remind you) is unplanned, It takes up TV time setting up matches that could have just been announced and executed. The method may get a PLE plug in there, but at the cost of seeing something that would have made me way more excited to see said event.
Promos obviously have a place within the show and they are a key part of selling the idea and story of pro wrestling. All I’m saying is we don’t have to do them all at once and at the same time.
LOVE: Rey Mysterio as GM of AAA
On this past weekend’s episode of AAA, leading into part one of the two-night Noche de Los Grandes this weekend, WWE Hall of Famer, former World Champion and deadbeat dad Rey Mysterio Jr. was named the promotion’s general manager.
Does Rey have the chops and history to handle running the AAA ship? Absolutely. Does this mean that he and his no-good son Dominik (the current AAA Mega Champion) will be at odds? Almost certainly. Will this lead to more twists and turns in the Psycho Circus clown drama? I dunno, but I hope so!
Bringing in someone like Mysterio is a great idea because he has the love and pedigree of lucha libre that make him a natural choice. Lucha Libre can be a little daunting and inaccessible to a casual fan, but Mysterio has the name recognition that will perk up the casual fan’s ears.
While I’ve noticed a few WWEKO-isms creeping into AAA (Obsession with authority figures, “street fight” type matches and contract signings) I think that making Rey the GM will go a long way to getting people checking out what is arguably the best, most entertaining wing of the WWE empire.
Next Week: I play checkers with my kids and tell you how the NWO Hollywood vs NWO Wolfpac story should have played out.
