Tag: Rock N Roll Express

FTR aligns with Stokely Hathaway, attacks Rock ‘n’ Roll Express on AEW Dynamite

Posted on by Josh Nason

For the first time in a long time, manager Stokely Hathaway returned to AEW during Wednesday’s Dynamite and with some new clients in the newly-heel FTR.

Hathaway interrupted a Tony Schiavone in-ring segment to introduce Dax Harwood and Cash Wheeler who are coming off a brief storyline suspension due to their recent antics of hitting officials and threatening Schiavone. Hathaway thought the suspension was unjust given the actions of other wrestlers and said he was going to get the suspension expunged from their record and their fines reversed.

He then revealed as of Wednesday, he is the new agent for FTR. Wheeler then made no apologies for attacking Daniel Garcia last week as he came to aid Matt Menard and Angelo Parker.

The Rock ‘n’ Roll Express, who were shown earlier in the night in the crowd, were welcomed to the ring by Harwood and Wheeler as they wanted to show Robert Gibson and Ricky Morton respect.

As one might expect, that didn’t go well for the legends who were then laid out by the former AEW World Tag Team Champions after being insulted by Harwood for several minutes and shown a t-shirt that read “Living Legend Killers.” After Harwood and Wheeler delivered a spike piledriver to Morton, they were run off by Adam Cole, Kyle O’Reilly and Roderick Strong as that feud continues.

FTR will face Kyle O’Reilly and Roderick Strong this Saturday on Collision.

AEW Collision live results: Two title matches, Rated FTR vs. The Learning Tree

Posted on by Suit Williams

The first TNT/Max simulcast edition of AEW Collision airs live from Charlotte, North Carolina, with two title matches and Rated FTR looking for their second win in four days.

Fresh off strong showings in the Continental Classic, TNT Champion Daniel Garcia defends against former ROH World Champion Mark Briscoe in a tournament rematch.

After earning a shot with their win over Top Flight, Lio Rush & Action Andretti will challenge AEW Tag Team Champions Private Party for the titles.

After defeating the Death Riders in their first trios match, FTR & Cope will unite again to face Chris Jericho, Big Bill & Bryan Keith of the Learning Tree.

Former AEW Women’s World Champion Toni Storm will take on Deonna Purrazzo.

After announcing this will be his last run in the ring, Jeff Jarrett’s quest for an AEW World title shot begins tonight.

An appearance from the legendary Rock ‘n’ Roll Express rounds out the main card.

**********

Collision started with the cold open promos, featuring Mark Briscoe, Daniel Garcia, The Learning Tree, & Rated FTR. Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting came back as the intro song, as Sir Elton John made his return after a suspension for a backstage scuffle. Tony Schiavone & Nigel McGuinness were on the call as always.

AEW TNT Title Match – Daniel Garcia (c) defeated Mark Briscoe

(This was a fun start to the show. After entering the Continental Classic immediately after winning the title, Daniel Garcia’s TNT Title reign truly kicked off here. Charlotte was behind Briscoe on this night, and Garcia rolled with the punches and let Briscoe get a ton of shine here. I wouldn’t panic about the weaker reaction for Garcia, but they do need to give him something to sink his teeth into as TNT Champ moving forward.)

This is Garcia’s first defense of the title. Briscoe earned this title shot by beating Garcia in the Continental Classic, then challenged Garcia at the Worlds End Zero Hour. Matt Menard joined the commentary team as per usual for Daniel Garcia matches.

The 113th TNT Title match in company history began with champion and challenger fighting to a stalemate. Briscoe kept wanting Garcia to fight on the floor, but Garcia refused to leave the ring. Briscoe got in the ring and took the advantage over Garcia with chops, chopping him off of the top turnbuckle to the floor. Briscoe hit a blockbuster to send us to a commercial.

Both men jockeyed for position on a suplex attempt before Briscoe suplexed Garcia over the top rope, with both men tumbling to the floor. They beat the countout and traded strikes in the ring, with Briscoe laying out Garcia with a lariat. Briscoe scored with another lariat before getting a nearfall with a fisherman’s buster. Garcia wouldn’t allow a Jay Driller, so Briscoe hit a powerbomb instead for a nearfall.

More strikes were traded, with Garcia scoring with a shotgun dropkick. Garcia hit the ten punches in the corner before hitting a piledriver for a nearfall. Garcia fought out of the Jay Driller again, transitioning into the Dragon Tamer to force Briscoe to the ropes. The two fought to the top rope as the ring announcer announced 3 minutes remaining in the time limit.

Briscoe hit the Froggy Bow and the Jay Driller, but Garcia got his foot on the rope on the cover attempt. The 2 minute call came as Briscoe went for the Cut Throat Driver, but Garcia fought out and caught Briscoe with the jackknife pin to get the win and retain the title. After the match, Briscoe shook hands with Garcia, noting that he came just that close to beating him.

Jon Moxley, Wheeler Yuta, & Marina Shafir were backstage. Yuta was upset at Jay White getting involved in their business and was ranting at him before Moxley hushed him and changed the subject to FTR. He considered their issues with FTR squared after their attack on them in December, but FTR came back with Adam Copeland on their side. Moxley warned Cope and FTR that if they kept walking this path, they would find nothing good.

We got a recap of Jeff Jarrett’s promo on Dynamite, where he stated his goal to become the AEW World Champion in 2025.

Jeff Jarrett defeated Aaron Solo

Jarrett made quick work of Solo, hitting him with two Strokes to win.

Lio Rush & Action Andretti were walking backstage ahead of their tag team title match tonight.

(Just a small gripe, I’m not sure what this shot accomplishes. We know there’s a tag title match tonight. Why do we need to see them walking?)

We got a recap of Ricochet’s attack on Swerve Strickland.

(I do enjoy Ricochet being the Carrie of AEW, getting bullied past the point of no return.)

AEW World Tag Team Title Match – Private Party (Quen & Zay) (c) defeated Action Andretti & Lio Rush

(A solid TV defense of the titles. Give Private Party a couple more of these nice little defenses and you’ll have something going with them. The Top Flight/Andretti & Rush story would benefit from ending soon and moving them around in the division.)

This is Private Party’s second defense of the titles.

Private Party had the advantage early, but the challengers cut off a Poetry In Motion attempt and double slammed Quen into the barricade. Zay was left to be double teamed through the commercial break before fighting to his corner for the tag. Quen ran wild on both challengers, scoring a nearfall by hitting a Death Valley Driver to Rush on top of Andretti.

Private Party went for Gin And Juice, but Quen’s back gave out before he could elevate for it. Andretti & Rush came back, with Andretti hitting a Spanish Fly on Quen. The challengers hit Gin and Juice on Quen for a nearfall before noticing Top Flight watching at ringside. They went to the top rope, but Private Party called them to the mat to throw fists.

After a quadruple down, Quen sent Rush to the floor to start a dive train. Quen hit a big Shooting Star Press onto Rush for a nearfall, broken up by an Andretti springboard 450. Andretti stuffed a sunset flip attempt and tried to hold onto Rush’s arms for a pin, but Dante Martin broke the grip and allowed Quen to reverse the roll-up for the win.

We get a recap of Darby Allin’s war with the Death Riders, ending with footage of them taking Allin out on the final Rampage in Hammerstein Ballroom.

Adam Copeland was backstage with Lexy Nair, who asked him about his issues with the Death Riders. Copeland said that his issues were because they attacked his friends and claimed that no one wanted to be AEW World Champion. Chris Jericho walked in and shouted about his accomplishments before Copeland told him that he already respected Jericho. Copeland ran down their history together, with Jericho claiming to remember none of it. Copeland called Jericho and a**hole, and Jericho called Cope a dope.

Toni Storm defeated Deonna Purrazzo (w/ Taya Valkyrie)

(This Toni Storm goofiness just doesn’t work for me. She’s been back for weeks, and instead of restarting her feud with Mariah May, she’s got amnesia. I get we need to kill time before the Australia show in February, but maybe don’t bring her back until we’re closer to the show? Or find another way to keep them apart? On another note, I don’t know what this Vendetta group is supposed to be accomplishing, other than giving these two pin eaters something to do on the weekends.)

The two fought on the mat before Purrazzo tagged Storm with a slap. She sent Storm to the floor, where a Valkyrie distraction led to a crossbody from Purrazzo to send the match to break. After the commercial, Storm made her comeback and locked on an STF. Storm went for a hip attack, but Valkyrie distracted her. Purrazzo put on a Fujiwara armbar, forcing Storm to the ropes. The two traded strikes before Storm hit a DDT for a two count. Storm clocked Valkyrie, then pinned Purrazzo with an inside cradle.

We got video from after Dynamite with Christopher Daniels trying to get through to Hangman Page. Daniels told Page that he could be World Champion if he could control himself, but Page rejected Daniels’ advice. He tore into Daniels, calling him an old man clinging to a sport that left him behind. He told Daniels that he should’ve retired five years ago when he still had a shred of dignity, then slapped him in the face. Page walked away before Daniels jumped him in a frenzy. Daniels got bloody and left Hangman lying, with Hangman muttering to himself as he pulled himself to his feet.

$100,000 High Speed Collision Four Way – Brian Cage defeated Dante Martin (w/ Leila Grey), Komander (w/ Alex Abrahantes), The Beast Mortos

(This was awesome. Just four guys going out there and fighting for some cash. Komander was spectacular here, as he had two great bases to work with in Cage and Mortos. The mercenary Cage gets the big check in the end.)

During Cage’s entrance, we got video of his Callis Family teammate Konosuke Takeshita’s NEVER Openweight Championship win at NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 19 earlier today.

The action was fast and furious to start, with Martin and Komander flying onto the big guys to start. Those two got in a pinning predicament before Mortos broke it up, but Komander hit a triple-rotation headscissors to send him to the floor before hitting a double-jump corkscrew dive to Mortos and Cage on the floor. Martin hit his own double-jump dive to the floor before Lio Rush jumped Martin and sent him into the barricade as payback for earlier in the night.

Back in the ring, Mortos squished Komander with a pop-up Samoan Drop before Cage dropped Mortos with a spinny facebuster deal. Look, I don’t know every move name. After a commercial, Martin tried to fight his way back into the ring before Cage booted him down. We got a lot of minutes of a lot of moves, and Cage pinned Martin with a Weapon X.

FTR were backstage with The Rock N’ Roll Express, who brought up the angle from 2021 where FTR hit Ricky Morton with a spike piledriver. Harwood apologized for that before The Outrunners entered the frame, complaining about gas money they were owed from 1982. Morton apologized, and the Outrunners did the Predator handshake with the Rock N’ Rolls.

(The only way this could have been better is if it was in front of the crowd.)

Rated FTR (Cope, Cash Wheeler, & Dax Harwood) defeated The Learning Tree (Big Bill, Bryan Keith & Chris Jericho)

(A trademark Collision trios main event, as Adam Copeland fills in the role of FTR’s trios partner. I’m of the opinion that Big Bill has the tools to be a player in AEW, and I would spin him off as a singles and let Jericho & Keith stick around as a tag team. The post-match angles with the Death Riders continues to miss the mark, as them tying up the Rock N’ Roll Express just felt goofy instead of menacing.)

As someone who has to quickly write names down, I’m a fan of Cope. Cope and Jericho stared each other down to start the match, but Jericho tagged out before they fought. The first third of the match was Big Bill being just too damn big and handling FTR by himself. After a commercial, Jericho & Cope tagged in and faced off to a big reaction.

We got a lot of action, including a Big Bill powerbomb on Harwood, before Cope hit Jericho with the Impaler. Cope went for the spear but Jericho hit the Codebreaker for a nearfall. The Learning Tree isolated Cope in their corner for a while before he got a tag into Wheeler. Wheeler ran wild on Big Bill, finally taking him down with a tornado DDT.

Rated FTR hit Bill with a Double PowerPlex – well, a single Plex and a double Power. A triple Shatter machine got broken up, with Bill hitting a Bossman Slam. Jericho & Harwood had dual submissions on before Cope and Bill broke them up. Cope sent Bill to the floor and hit a big dive to the floor, with Harwood following with a big suicida. Harwood & Jericho were left, but as Harwood went up for a diving headbutt, Keith hit Harwood with the ROH Title for a long nearfall.

Harwood moved out of the way of a Lionsault, and FTR hit Jericho with a Shatter Machine. Cope followed up with a spear, and the good guys won. After the match, Jon Moxley appeared on the screen before revealing that he had The Rock N’ Roll Express tied up in the back. The Outrunners came to try and help before Wheeler Yuta & Marina Shafir laid them out. The Death Riders bailed out before Copeland and the Death Riders could catch them in the back.

Rock ‘n’ Roll Express to reunite at Joey Janela’s Spring Break 8

Posted on by Ian Carey

The Rock ‘n’ Roll Express is set to reunite over WrestleMania weekend. 

Joey Janela announced on Monday that Robert Gibson will once again step into the ring to team with Ricky Morton at Joey Janela’s Spring Break 8. The legendary tag team will be joined by Robert’s son Kerry in a trios match against Mike Bailey and The East West Express (Jordan Oliver & Nick Wayne). 

Joey Janela’s Spring Break 8 takes place on Friday, April 5, at the Penns Landing Caterers in Philadelphia, PA. The show will air live on Triller TV (previously FITE TV. 

https://twitter.com/JANELABABY/status/1756879478393807203

Only two other matches are official for the show. 

GCW Joey Janela’s Spring Break 8 announced lineup:

  • The Rock ‘n’ Roll Express (Robert Gibson, Ricky Morton & Kerry Morton) vs. Mike Bailey & The East West Express (Nick Wayne & Jordan Oliver)
  • Masato Tanaka & Minoru Suzuki vs. Masha Slamovich & Rina Yamashita
  • Dragon Kid, YAMATO, & Kzy vs. Ben-K, Shun Skywalker & Kota Minoura

Gibson and Morton announced plans to finish up as a team in 2022. Morton said at the time he wanted to focus more on helping with his son Kerry’s career and working backstage. 

Kerry Morton frequently competes in GCW and the NWA. He was defeated by Janela in the first round of the Jersey J-Cup this weekend and is part of the Southern Six stable in the NWA. 

The Rock ‘n’ Roll Express was voted into The Wrestling Observer Newsletter Hall of Fame Class of 2014. They were inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2017. 

Our own Dave Meltzer wrote upon their induction:

Their success spawned a number of imitations, although they themselves in a sense were spawned by the success of The Fabulous Ones, Stan Lane & Steve Keirn, in Memphis. After The Fabulous Ones became huge draws in Tennessee and Kentucky through use of music videos in the early 80s, Jerry Lawler put Morton & Gibson together. Both had been members of strong tag teams, Morton with Ken Lucas in Texas and Eddie Gilbert in Oklahoma, and Gibson with his half-brother Ricky for a number of years in different places.

The key to the act was that they could sell and work at a faster clip than most, upping the tempo of matches from their era, but also that women loved them, particularly young women. That was a combination of looks, the way Morton sold, and the way they were marketed with the music videos.

New participants, matches announced for NWA Crockett Cup 2020

Posted on by Bryan Rose

The first teams for the Crockett Cup have been announced, while a couple of new matches have been added to the card.

NWA announced today on their Circle Squared program that The Rock ‘n’ Roll Express, Flip Gordon & Brody King, Rey Horus & Flamita, and Thom Latimer & Royce Issacs are the first four teams to enter the tournament. There will be three more teams announced.

Like last year, there will be a match that will determine the final spot in the tournament. The rules, however, will be different. It will instead be a gauntlet-style match where both tag teams and singles wrestlers will be eligible to enter. Two wrestlers will start, and every 90 seconds a new participant will enter the match. The last two participants remaining will be the last team to enter the tournament.

Tim Storm, Ricky Starks, and Zicky Dice have been announced for the gauntlet match.

It was also announced that Trevor Murdoch will get a chance at the NWA National championship, as he will face champion Aron Stevens. 

The show will be headlined by Nick Aldis defending the NWA World’s Heavyweight title against Marty Scurll, who is putting $500,000 on the line.

This year’s Crockett Cup will take place on April 19 at the Gateway Center Arena in College Park, Georgia.

NWA Power results: Marty Scurll’s counteroffer

Posted on by Josiah MacDonald

It doesn’t take NWA Power to get into the action quickly, as Eli Drake joins Galli and Bennett on commentary.

The Bouncers (Beer City Bruiser & Brian Milonas) w/ Eddie Kingston defeated The Dawson (Dave & Zane Dawson) w/ The Pope

The crowd immediately started chanting “We want beer!” as Mr. Beer started the match with Zane Dawson. Zane and the Bruiser exchanged hard clothesline attempts, but the Beer City Bruiser was too strong and leveled Zane. Dave Dawson tagged in and exchanged chops with Milonas. Mr. Beer tagged in and did several punches with the crowd chanting “Beer!”

Zane tagged in and used some clubbing forearms on the Bruiser in the corner, likely bruising him, in an ironic cruel twist. Beer hit a double clothesline and managed to tag out to Milonas, who hit a running cross body on Zane Dawson, which was insane. Milonas hit a superplex on Zane soon thereafter, and The Bruiser hit a frog splash off the top rope for the 3.

James Storm and the Beer City Bruiser filled the Crockett Cup with beer and started to drink from it. Milonas, Beer, and Storm tried to get Drake to do it, but Drake faked in and drank his protein shake. That was quite hilarious. I love the Beer City Bruiser.

*********

Tom Latimer came out with Kamille to be interviewed about his upcoming match with Tim Storm. Galli said that Latimer might be in line for a title match if he beat Storm, and Latimer brushed it off, as Aldis is his boss. Latimer also refused to talk about the tag team title scene, but cut a promo on the Rock n’ Roll Express. Kamille threatened to slap Galli, but she gently patted him on the face.

Tom Latimer defeated Tim Storm

Latimer attacked storm from behind and started working him over, but Storm clotheslined Latimer to the floor. Latimer landed on his feet, but he wasn’t happy. Both men locked up, but neither were able to get the advantage, so they exchanged shoulder blocks. Latimer indicated that he was going to go for another one, but tried a cheap shot, so Storm blocked it and hit a back body drop on Latimer.

Latimer threw an elbow pad to the ref, and as he did, he hit a throat strike on Storm and then a spear for the 2 count. Latimer continued to work over Storm with a few punches before Tim Storm made a brief comeback, but both men went down after a neckbreaker. Latimer went for a piledriver, but Storm hit a back body drop. He ran to the corner, but Latimer dodged, and he crashed into the ring post. Latimer hit an implant DDT for the win.

After the match, the fake Mama Storm from last week came out, and Tim Storm looked disgusted before leaving the area. I wonder if we will see the real Mama Storm at some point to put this fake one in its place? I’m not a fan of Tim Storm losing a relatively clean match here, but that is just my bias kicking in because I love Tim Storm as a babyface. I legitimately don’t want to see him lose.

*********

Trevor Murdoch cut a promo against Aron Stevens about how he wanted a title match again. He also trash talked Question Mark, and Question Mark came out, grabbed the mic, and began to sing the Mongrovian National Anthem to a applause from the crowd. He then said “Me! You! Karate!” to Murdoch, which I loved because it was so wacky.

*********

Sean Mooney was there with the update from ROH Free Enterprise, as Marty Scurll made a counter offer after being in a match with him and PCO against Nick Aldis & Rush. Marty talked about becoming the NWA World’s Heavyweight Champion. Marty made a counter offer, saying that he would personally write a cheque for $500,000 if Aldis beat him. Aldis accepted the counter offer.

*********

NWA Television Championship: Ricky Starks went to a time limit draw with Matt Cross

Starks and Cross started the match with some technical wrestling, showing that neither man is limited to high flying wrestling. Starks was able to hit a dropkick to the face of Cross when he tried to do a backflip. Cross and Starks traded a few moves back and forth again, and Cross hit a pump kick and back elbow. Cross went for a suplex, but Starks blocked it.

Both men tried for it more than once, and went back and forth before Starks was able to hit a suplex. Starks hit a tornado DDT and got a 2 count. Cross hit the cross cutter and then went for the shooting star press, but the bell rang as he ran out of time. Starks had successfully defended his title due to time limit draw.

Zicky Dice came out and cut a promo about how Starks couldn’t get the job done, but that he finishes every time. Well then.

Honestly, I am not sure I would have done the draw here. I get that they wanted to establish two things: That Matt Cross is tough to beat, and that a draw still counts as a successful defence of the title. However, I think I would have saved the match with Matt Cross for further down the line, and if Starks gets all of the Lucky 7, Cross can say that he never really beat him, and move forward with that as Starks seeks a shot at the NWA World’s Championship.

*********

Marti Belle cut a promo against Allysin Kay and how she didn’t care about her or the fans, and talked about how Melina was the only one that showed that she cared about her. Belle talked about how everything that Melina has predicted has come true. Kay came out and said that she absolutely cared about the fans.

Kay said that Melina was Jim Jones, and Marti Belle was drinking the kool-aid. She said that she was always going to be there for Marti Belle, and that she cared about her. Marti Belle left, angry.

Melina defeated Tasha Steelz

Melina immediately attacked Steelz, and Steelz sold so well for Melina’s offence here that even though parts of it looked weak, Melina looked like a monster compared to her. The match was messy in spots, but Steelz did her best to get a decent match before Melina hit a Primal Scream for the pinfall.

Melina cut a promo about being the best, and demanded a title shot next week against Thunder Rosa, her friend.

*********

Nick Aldis & Royce Isaacs defeated The Rock n’ Roll Express

As the match was beginning, Sal Rinauro and May Valentine made their way down to ringside and sat down in the crowd. Robert Gibson rolled up Isaacs and got a 2 count as he was distracted by May sitting with Sal. Ricky Morton tagged in and they worked over the legs of Royce with a wishbone split. Morton and Gibson continued the work over the leg for a while until Isaacs gouged the eyes and tagged in Aldis.

Ricky Morton was tagged in soon thereafter as he hit a hurricanrana on Aldis. Morton was driven into the ring post on the floor by Isaacs and they got the heat on Morton for the next few minutes. Morton fired up and hit a few great punches before tagging out. Gibson tagged in and hit a suplex on Isaacs before throwing Aldis from the top rope.

Gibson went for a backslide on Isaacs, but Aldis broke it up. Isaacs hit the thumbs to the eyes of Gibson and rolled him up for the pinfall with the feet on the ropes. May Valentine came over and hugged May as Isaacs went on to argue with Sal. The crowd chanted Sal, as the show faded out into a hype video of Aldis and Scurll.

The NWA promised we would know the exact date and venue for the Crockett Cup next week.
This was a very solid episode of NWA Power. It wasn’t super exciting, and it didn’t have the promos of last week, but it was very good. They are slowly building their way to the PPV, and it’s excellent stuff.

Joey Janela’s Spring Break 3, Pt. II: A wild Clusterf*ck battle royal

Posted on by F4W Editors

The showcase of the immortal drunkards and deathmatch kings is upon us: the second part of the third annual Joey Janela’s Spring Break. Masato Tanaka faces LA Park, while the modern incarnation of LAX faces the only incarnation of the Rock ‘N Roll Express. Also, the greatest spring break battle royal ever is set to happen. 

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Our show late Saturday night in Jersey City, NJ, got a late start due to the ROH/NJPW show , but now we get Ron Funches on commentary. Tanaka’s theme plays, but Joey Janela comes out with Penelope Ford to face Jungle Boy. They’re in the same buildling they were in last night and the fans resume singing Jungle Boy’s theme. A giant “F ROH” chant breaks out due to the delay.

Jungle Boy submitted Joey Janela

They trade a million superkicks before Joey goes down to his knees and eats another one. He then gets up and lands another superkick, but Joey gets the edge off a lariat. Jungle Boy sends him out and hits a series of lopes and topes. Jungle goes up top for a moonsault, but Joey blocks it and lands a crazy high angle inverted brainbuster on the apron. That insanity only gets 1.

Jungle Boy lands a slingshot spear and a jungle cutter snaps him with a high angle landing for 2. Penelope comes in and hits a flying rana and then a a spike headscissor, but Jungle hits a pop-up backstabber to her. Joey lands a series of kneeling elbows and gets a dragon clutch.

Jungle Boy escapes and gets a rolling death valley driver on the ring. Joey gets 2 off a tombstone and then hits a super brainbuster for 1. They go back and forth on snap German suplexes. Joey jumps up for a choke, but Jungle Boy gets a standing twister choke and Joey taps out. For the second night in a row, Joey has lost on his signature event. They hug and raise hands. 

LAX defeated The Rock ‘n Roll Express

LAX comes down while they are being put over as having a massive rise from relative obscurity in Beyond Wrestling to now being what they are. 

Robert is taken to the corner by Santana, who then bowls him over. Ortiz comes in and gets knocked down quickly. Robert works an arm ringer, but it doesn’t last long. Ricky and Ortiz are in and Ricky (who still has a great armdrag) armdrags him down. Robert lands a noggin knocker and then a sleeper on Santana. A miscue leads to Ortiz eating a lariat from Santana. A Canadian Destroyer lands and Morton hits a tope on LAX on the floor. My god.

But, LAX recovers and hit a run-up cannonball in the corner that ends it.

Ortiz says that this was their ninth match of the week and their most anticipated one. Santana breaks down talking about how much they’ve influenced him and the two bow to the Rock’n’Rolls.

LA Park defeated Masato Tanaka

This was a battle of The Chairman vs. the receiver of some of the nastiest chairshots in wrestling history, so it should be interesting from beginning to end. A shoving match lead to a chop battle and then kicks and a nasty Park overhand chop. They go back and forth on running lariats with Park getting a shocking amount of speed for his age and weight. Park landed a chairshot and turned around a bit too late to logically make it, so he doesn’t see Tanaka get up, but he does and lands a rolling elbow to the chair that gets two.

Tanaka gets two off a tornado DDT and then hits a crossbody to the floor. Tanaka throws a beer at him and the announcers talk about how the mask can create a waterboarding effect with the liquid. Park slams him into a sea of chairs, gets a door and throws it in the ring, and then finds another one. The door is in the corner, but Tanaka takes him down and gets a frog splash for two. Then, LA Park spears him through the door to win it.

The Greatest Clusterf*ck Battle Royal

Necro Butcher comes out as number one and looks like his own grandfather. Then, Nick F’N Gage is here to battle him, apparently wearing the same shirt he’s been wearing all weekend because the white parts of his shirt are covered in blood. Schlak and Marcus Grain are here and Necro KOs Grain. Necro and Schlak then get into a hockey fight.

Georgie Boy is out, but no word on if the rubber chicken is also in the match. Nick beats him up with the chicken. A dueling door war leads to Swoggle coming down. He hits a shin music and some chin music on Shlak. Arik Cannon is out and stares down Gage right away. Swoggle runs wild on Necro and Georgie Boy is tossed out. 

Joe Gacey runs in and hits a DVD on Grain before Brian Pillman Jr. comes down. Grain and Shlak use a plastic bag over the head to Pillman. Nate Webb and Marko Stunt are out, but not just in the match, but they’re also singing and playing guitar with the fans singing alongside them. Swoggle and Necro take out Nick Gage. 

Shlak beats up Swoggle. MJF is out and beats up Marko and Nate with a chair while wearing an MDK shirt. Joey Ryan comes down which was surprising after he was running an opposition show to this one last night. Sexy Eddie comes down too and Joey oils him up and Brian as well. Joey and Eddie have an oil off before Jefe comes out. He wants oil, but doesn’t get it. Eddie’s towel is removed but he’s bare-assed and it finds its way into Joey’s face several times. 

Sexy Eddie gets a moonsault and he’s gone to hopefully get clothing. Nick Morrettii is out and now Stunt formally joins the fray along with his brother Logan. Necro tries to lift them up and take them out which works for Logan. Team Whitewolf is in and take out Pillman immediately. Swoggle gets a dick claw on Joey and it causes Joey to be eliminated due to his center of gravity.

Egotistico Fantastico comes in and hits a moonsault on Durst for 2. G. Raver comes out with hypodermic needles and he spikes Swoggle, who then hits a German. Superkick takes out Swoggle. Kikutaru comes in to poke asses for a while and makes the ref pass out before another ref puts the fingers up to Kikutaru’s nose and he passes out and is taken out. 

Homicide came down to the ring and squares off with Teddy Hart They slug it out before Teddy lands an uppercut. Cryme Tyme (!) returns to the ring with giant beards. Teddy and Homicide reunited for the good of JAPW and battled Shad and JTG. Teddy gets taken out. Shlak gets schoolboyed and taken out by Cannon. Grim Reefer is out and now Teddy Hart is out with a cat, who he hopefully won’t throw into the air again. The Ugly Ducklings are out to provide a modern-day Dupp act. Colby Corino is out gets a tornado DDT on Reefer. Slim J comes down with Funches summing him up as a white guy in a bandanna, so he must be tough. Facade comes down and he really should be gaining more momentum as he’s got a solid look. 

A ropewalk doomsday kick hits one Duckling, leading to a reverse rana accidentally hitting another. MJF gets rid of Cryme Tyme, but he’s knocked out by Necro. Gringo Loco is down and looks like what you’d get if you combined a balding trucker with Fat Super Crazy from 2005. He lands a nice Spanish Fly and then AJ Grey comes down and tears through the Ducklings. A Steiner Screwdriver hits for Grey and then he hits a tornillo dive onto a pile on the floor.

Ophidian is out and works with Raver before the Ducklings tope guys on the floor. Gringo Loco hits a big flip dive before Rich Swann arrives. Swann hits a corkscrew dive to the floor and then Facade hits a springboard 450. Cannon teases a dive and flips them off. Dustin Thomas (aka No Legs from Friday night) is out and hits a big 610. He gets a win with a swanton and the fans sing “No Legs” to the tune of “Ole”, so he’s made.

Brendan Brown is out and MJF lowblows him, but MJF is taken out. Facade does a ropewalk 450 onto the floor onto no one. Pharoah and Odinson are out to toss the Ducklings around. Shane Mercer comes down and forms an alliance with Necro. No Legs gets tossed out to the floor. Shane hits a big suplex and a moonsault powerslam off the second rope. 

Jake Atlas is out followed by Australian Suicide. Mercer slugs it out with KTB and then Caveman Ug comes down and barks…as you do. KTB and Ug chop and headbutt the daylights out of each other. Ug has great form on his butterfly suplex and snap uranage. Stunner takes out Australian Suicide. Crowbar comes down and other than a tattoo on his chest and redoing his facial hair, he looks very similar to how he did in WCW. Super Rana gets 2 for Crowbar.

Matt Treemont is down and brawls with Necro while Gacey takes out Crowbar with a chair. Grizzly Redwood returns to battle Shane Mercer. I don’t see that going well for him and Crowbar is taken out by a moonsault from the caveman. Chris Dickinson and Pinky Sanchez come down and Necro runs wild with forearms. Necro rakes the eyes of Pinky. Michael Blaze ccmes down and rains down superkicks. Kip Osbourne and Frankie Pickard arrive as partners and brawl with each other.

NWO Sting (Jeff Farmer) is out and is still jacked. Tracy Smothers is still in town and I’m sure he’s no more sane than he was last night, so tt’s time for UltraMegaMassHomicide. Mantaur comes down and is unbelievably slow. Mantaur needs to work with Orange Cassidy for a slow motion vs. regular motion spot. Matt Nix comes in is worked over by NWO Sting. 

Jimmy Lloyd emerges from his ungodly violent deathmatch last night to start brawling and lands a rolling death valley driver. Takeda comes down to resume their war from last night. Then, Mantaur got an elimination. Jeff Cannonball brawls with Takeda and lands a tombstone in such a way that I’m astounded he didn’t tear both knees upon impact. Ethan Page is out to fight for his very soul. Essa Rios is out and looks about the same as he did 20 years ago, just a bit chunkier around the middle. Necro’s just gone before “Maneater” blares as Ashley Vox, Allie Kat, Maria Manic, Solo Darling, Su Yung, and Session Moth Martina are out. They run wild and beat the tar out of the men. Martina goes for a grind, but spits beer and lands a DDT. Stunt hits Ashley in the stomach, but she lands an air raid crash on him.

Shazza beats up Frank the Clown who comes out and in the process, Funches finds his headphones. Frank gets a variety of angry chants as he eats a variety of kicks to the lower groin region. Now we get light tubes and Jimmy Lloyd gets killed with death by them all. Dickinson eats a superplex through two tables by Manic. They tear the ring up and let up Aubrey Edwards because she’s a female ref. They drag Joey Janela out and beat him up before a Signal Lost message hits the screen.

Well, this was a night of insanity with a very unique and memorable ending.