Tag: total divas

Recap by Ryan Pike (@RyanNPike)

In the grand tradition of that episode where they went to Cabo (season 2) and another trip to Mexico in Season 3, we get another episode where the girls all go to a tropical location and hang around in bikinis. This series has two staple episodes: beach vacations and weddings.

Anyhow, just like every other vacation episode, this one is marred by drama.

Nattie’s Jealous of Cesaro: Nattie is a bit upset that TJ and Cesaro are so close. We get a montage of her mentioning it to basically every recurring person on the show. Paige thinks she’s making it sound like TJ and Cesaro are lovers, and gives her the gears a bit. It’s pretty funny, and Nattie gets the point – she’s over-reacting.

Paige is Engaged: Paige isn’t super-into wedding planning, (despite all the other girls getting excited about it) and confides in Alicia (and us, since it’s on a television show) that she only accepted Kevin’s proposal last episode because she was afraid of losing him.

Naomi’s Too Sexy: Jon gets upset with Naomi’s skimpy ring gear now that she’s a heel. Then she gets mad at Alicia for posting a video of her twerking, thinking Jon will see it and get upset. Anyway, Naomi decides to try to find a middle-ground between respecting her husband’s wishes and dressing like a prude.

Brie Is Fighting With Her Dad: Brie and Nikki’s dad, who they alternately hate and love depending on the episode, has unfollowed Brie off Instagram. It also turns out he’s having a kid with his new gal and didn’t tell them. Nikki spends the episode trying to get in touch with their Mexican heritage while Brie resists. The whole cast gets word mid-way through the episode that Dusty Rhodes passed away. That event prompts Brie to decide to try to make up with her dad, because you never know how long you have with loved ones – even ones you don’t get along with all the time.

Highlight of the episode: After Dusty passes away, Paige does a really funny Dusty impression, mimicking how he described her character when she was in NXT.

Season 4, Episode 11

Recap by Ryan Pike (@RyanNPike)

Bryan’s Still Injured: So Brie’s husband, Bryan Danielson, is still injured and vacates his Intercontinental Title in the ring to open the episode. He gets medically cleared later, leading to a series of circular discussions – doing their best not to use the word “concussion” – between Bryan and Brie about his future. He wants to wrestle so he can make them a nest-egg to retire on (and to help them with kids). She wants him to retire now so he doesn’t have health problems later on. In the end, WWE is nervous about him wrestling and it’s left up in the air, with very little resolved. And bear in mind, this was taped in the summer.

Paige Gets Engaged: Paige and her boyfriend Kevin end up in a ring store and he asks her a million ring-related questions, while she is too dense to realize what they mean. Later on, Emma goes snooping (with Paige’s permission) and finds an engagement ring. Paige panics while everybody else presumes she’ll get engaged by the end of the episode – it’s like they’re aware of Chekov’s Gun or something. Anyway, after freaking out all episode about not being ready to get married, she says yes when he proposes (via a tattoo on his arm that says “Will you marry me.”) It’s cute, but you get the impression that there’s trouble coming.

Jon Uso Does Stand-Up: Everyone keeps telling Jon Uso that he’s hilarious, so Dolph Ziggler sets up a set for him at a local comedy club. Jon tries out a set at home that’s basically him making fun of his wife. He comes up with a better set, which contains him making jokes about how handsome and ripped Ziggler is. Naomi is happy he was able to get out of his comfort zone a bit and have fun.

I swear, I think Nikki might end up being the last unmarried, childless person on this show the way cast members keep getting married off.

Season 4, Episode 9

Recap by Ryan Pike (@RyanNPike)

What a strange episode.

Nattie’s Sister Moves Out

Remember how Nattie’s sister moved in to help them out with their new house? And how it was Nattie’s idea? Well, now Nattie’s regretting the decision and wants her to move out so she and TJ can have space. She tries to set her up with Mark From Talent Relations, which doesn’t work – Mark just no-sells her. But her sister hits it off with Big E, so there’s something. Eventually TJ just asks when she’s leaving, leading to hurt feelings and sulking, leading to Nattie’s sister deciding (on her own) to move in with her parents rather than stay there. Nattie ponders joyfully how nicely things worked out. It’s because TJ took care of the dirty work, Nattie.

Brie Dresses Too Sexy

Bryan’s concerned that Brie’s dressing too sexy, so he goes out and gets a composting toilet and installs it in their shed. And turns off the water to the indoor toilets. The ultimatum is made: he’ll turn the water back on if she agrees to dress less sexy. Brie’s mom agrees with him that she dresses too sexy and she relents. Everyone is happy not to have to use the composting toilet.

Paige Is Young And Impulsive

Paige has a rough episode. She tries out motorcycles with Alicia and Rosa and crashes, leading to Mark from Talent Relations scolding her. She gets asked to coach Ariane, but Ariane works stiff as heck. So Paige gets mad (rather than trying to coach Ariane into working softer) and gets stiff back at her, leading to a big argument at the Performance Center – complete with a Sara Del Rey cameo. Mark From Talent Relations calls and scolds her again.

She gets to the building for a show and discovers she’s not booked on the show. She asks Road Dogg if it’s about the Ariane altercation, which leads to him scolding her too. At the end of the episode she drinks and vents to Nattie and Nikki, who tell her to chill out and pick her battles. Life’s sure tough when you’re young and impulsive.

No John Cena, Eva Marie or Naomi this week.

Submitted by Ryan Pike

— Season 4, Episode 8

The Bellas Sing Badly

Brie gets asked to record a remix of her entrance music and is just awful at singing. Nikki jokingly trash-talks her a bit and decides she can do better than Brie did at singing. She is also pretty bad. Jim Johnston appears (as does Renee Young) and he basically needs to coach Nikki through it line by line and constantly remarks at how bad she is. He’s great. Brie gets a bit grumpy that Nikki always makes things a competition, so Brie ropes Nikki into singing the national anthem before a hockey game, but apparently it doesn’t happen as Nikki admits to Brie that she’s bad at singing and the girls have a laugh about it.

Nattie’s Feeling Old

Nattie’s contract is almost up and Mark From Talent Relations talks to her about a new deal, focusing on “diversifying” her more than having Nattie as a wrestler. That leads her to get weird about her age – she turned 33 after the events of the episode – and try to act young, leading to Alicia and Emma teasing her and her getting drunk and emotional on a night out. Naomi and Tamina talk her down and cheer her up, then Tamina almost gets in a fist-fight with a guy outside a bar – in the best moment in the show’s history. Like, a tiny bald Asian man threatens to roundhouse kick her, and she goes after him and is held back by the other girls (and a producer). Nikki also gives her a pep talk backstage and Nattie feels better about things.

Paige Has Trust Issues

Paige is in Vancouver shooting a (terrible WWE) movie and her boyfriend (who is in a band) visits. He is friendly with some of his fans in front of Paige, leading her to get a bit jealous and talk to Rosa about it and they come up with a (terrible) plan to test his loyalty. Paige gives a random girl at a bar $50 to go flirt with her man, even though she admits that the plan is stupid and terrible. He’s (understandably) mad when she tells him about her (terrible) plan and hurt that she didn’t trust him. She explains her past relationship issues and they talk it out.

Absolutely no Eva Marie on this episode.